20 weeks!!!!

HALFWAY THERE BABY!!! I cannot believe that in about 18-19 more weeks, I will have you in my arms!

We had our big ultrasound on Tuesday. Mommy and Daddy planned to let it be a surprise on delivery day, whether you were a boy or a girl. In the beginning, I honestly didn't care either way, whether you were a boy or a girl and soon I started to hope you would be a boy so Jayden could have a little brother. But once my family found out I was pregnant, everyone was convinced you were a girl. People were referring to you as she. Your nana was subconsciously choosing gender neutral items that had more pink and green in it than anything else. You future godmother had even went so far as to go out and buy girl clothes for you! I have to admit, all of this talk of you being a girl made me start to believe you were. It also made me start wanting you to be one. When thinking of names, I mainly focused on girl names. Right now, I have a list of about 12 girls names and only 2 boys names (one which was vetoed by your daddy!). I started to worry if I could go the next 20 weeks or so, not knowing. I feared being disappointed on delivery day if you weren't what everyone expected you to be. I prayed on it the night before the ultrasound and asked God to speak to me and tell me what to do. That night, I woke up from a nightmare...You were born and the Drs announced "It's a boy!" and I was so disappointed I cried and didn't want to see you. That broke my heart! Right then and there I knew I needed to find out.

I was so excited at the appointment. My palms were sweating and my legs were shaking. I just couldn't wait to see you and watch you move around. The Dr didn't keep us waiting. We immediately saw your sweet face, although it was covered by your hands AND your feet. Oh my goodness, it was the absolute cutest thing ever to see you all curled up like that. At first you weren't moving around, so the Dr went to do other measurements until you decided to finally move your hands and feet out of your face. Once you started moving, I felt everything and seeing it on the screen was just amazing. Your feet!! Oh my goodness they are so cute and I cannot wait to kiss your little toes! We saw your eyes and you opened and closed your little mouth. The Dr then measured your legs and when he was done measuring he moved around and all of a sudden I knew right away...A BOY!!! You are a sweet sweet boy!! I was overjoyed and so happy that I found out! I love you so much already and I am so happy that I had that joy in my heart and won't have to fear the feeling of disappointment simply b/c you are not what everyone else expected you to be. You are exactly what I expected you to be...My healthy, sweet baby!!

We still haven't told the entire family yet. They will find out at the baby shower. I think that will be so fun :) We may have a name picked out for you, but I won't refer to you by that name until I'm absolutely sure it's your name! Until then, you are mama's little man and I cannot wait to meet you, sweet boy.

19 weeks

My how I've grown! I've gained back the weight I lost and some extra weight to go along with that. And I'm definitely looking like I'm carrying you in my belly now. Everyone at work likes touching my belly to try and feel you move but you are not kicking hard enough just yet. You still move around a lot though, especially when I lay down or when I'm at work. I think you move around a lot at work b/c you hear the other babies that I'm playing with.

Just a few more days until I get to see your sweet face! Daddy and I have decided not to find out if you are a boy or a girl, but 98% of the people we know seem to think you are a girl. We will find out in January if you prove them right or wrong!

18 weeks

My how you've grown! I know b/c the scale tells me so! I can also tell b/c my belly has gone from being non existent to a cute little bump. I had no idea how heavy it could feel though. I'm trying to learn how to balance the shift in weight. It's pretty hard for me to get out of bed or to stand up when I've been sitting on the floor playing with the babies at work.

Speaking of the babies at work, they are getting me soooo excited to meet you! I've been snuggling little newborns and inhaling that sweet new smell. Mommy cannot wait to snuggle you and breath in your brand new scent all day long! I also cannot wait to change your teeny tiny diapers. And the first smiles and coos?? Mommy cannot wait! I think your big brother is very excited as well! He wanted you to get in his bed and take a nap with him today. He kisses you every morning and every night and says how much he loves you. He also pokes at you trying to make you laugh. You are going to love your big brother!

I really do think I felt you kick me 3 times this morning. I'm for certain that I felt one kick b/c that one made me jump! Your daddy thought it was so funny. Every time I feel you move around in there, it makes this all a reality that you will be joining our family soon. We already have a few things ready for you for when you arrive. Every time I look at it, I smile. I know I say this over and over again, but I cannot wait to see you. And judging by how fast time is flying, it won't be long before you are in my arms and we can stare at each other all day long. I love you, sweet baby.